I will never believe it again if someone comes up to me and says "You are studying in Singapore? Lovely - what a cosmopolitan city!"

How can it be a 'cosmopolitan' city when the young people are refusing to interact with people from other countries (I may be wrong but perhaps they deem them as inferior creatures?),laughing/joking about them IN their presence, whining that they feel alienated because there are so many foreigners around?

As I found out, not only the freshmen think this way, but some of the seniors as well. One would think these educated young adults would know better. People enter university to learn new things? I am utterly disappointed.

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It has always been there. It was there when I was all ready to settle down at UM and refused to go to NUS. It is here now as I am talking to Yuan and she is telling me about her travels. It appears when Una was talking about Cambridge, when Nate was talking about the States, when just everyone else talks about their experiences which always seems so far and unattainable to me.

This thing is the desire within me to go somewhere really far away and see things that I've only HEARD of before. Maybe I couldn't have gone this holidays even if it weren't for EHOC but I could have done something TOWARDS it. It's in me again to be determined about leaving eventually to do something. I am NOT satisfied.

Bond suspension. Taking leave. Whatever - it's my 3rd year and I will do something about it.

However, as the freshmen were singing Fighter today, my mind was brought instantly to Rag Day - I am waiting for that day.

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Last night, I met up with Natassia, Jan, Pang, Nate's friend Darren and his girlfriend Joanne for dinner at Yuki Yaki. It was a really fun dinner, what with Darren's obsession with garlic and all those little comments Pang would make and result in Joanne's face red with laughing.

Whenever I am at Ipoh, or even here in Singapore with these friends from home, everything that I've felt beforehand just instantly melts away. True enough that I've survived Sentosa just that morning - that so many things had happened the night before - that so many things are ahead of me. But as I hear the familiar twang in their Canto - as I hear the familiar voices - talk of the familiar names, places - everything else just melts away. All the stress and negative feelings and fear that I've been experiencing for the past 2 months just faded away for that night - from the moment I met them at Wisma until dessert at NYDC that night, when Delanney and her boyfriend, Kiat and Joo Lian and then later Justin joined us.







And I am so glad that this weekend it's my family who is visiting. Just makes me feel less bad about not being at home.

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And so Sentosa camp is over.

I think it's me. I jinx car washes and I've probably jinxed the Sentosa camps for the past 2 years. Remember LAST YEAR when we were camping at East Coast Park - it rained heavily from midnight onwards and we had to pack the 20/30 freshmen that we had into the lorry/lovely seniors' cars while the programmers stayed behind to pack the tents and clear up the campsite in the dark, rain and mud before finally huddling at the back of the lorry at 330am, cold, wet and miserable.

I thought it was the most horrible experience I've ever had and we have always told this year's programmers that.

It happened again. Can you believe it? For the exact same programme! Just that this year we have like 120 freshmen.

It rained briefly at 6pm as we were starting the barbecue and I refused to acknowledge the rain, praying fervently for the rain to stop. And so it did.

So there was cooking competition and lotsa talking throughout the night. I fell asleep on the pavillion with Jerraine. And the rain began at 6am.

At first it was just a slight drizzle and I remember Janus saying that there was no need to clear our barbecue stuff yet (The seniors were cooking at 3am) as it was just a slight rain. But how wrong we were. The rain soon started pouring heavily and we dashed off to the campsite to check on the freshmen. Sure enough, some tents were leaking and many of them were moving to the pavillions.

There and then, I believe I saw the programmers exactly the way I'd hope they'd be. They were swift and ready to spring into action, without any prior warning. In a way, as I was reflecting on this matter after the whole thing, I believe it was God's way of telling us that although we may have our miscommunications and stuff at times, we are still a comm - and more than that, we are a bunch of good friends. Through this incident, God has given us yet another common experience, to remind us that we have gone through even the worst that we dared to imagine.

And here's to another 2 weeks of orientation!

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Orientation programme starts proper today. Yesterday, I realised again the reason why I have been slogging my ass off for EHOC. I was reminded of the special place EHOC has in me. As Janus spoke of Rag and Flag - of EHOC as a whole - my mind was flooded with images and sounds and smells that felt so so real that I just knew - I was doing all these to experience all these again, as I've experienced them as a naive freshman and as a first-time EHOCer.

I remember being a freshman and sitting at the tentage cutting cans and talking to the senior raggers.
I remember staying up all night helping the rag dancers with their boots and body paint and whatnot.
I remember going around with my OG doing chat time.
I remember walking and talking at the beach at wee hours of the morning.
I remember waking up on a bridge at Sentosa's Palawan beach.
I remember ploughing through Flag from 7am-7pm.
I remember the first-time clubbing experiences in Singapore.
I remember having the choking feeling as EH won Flag and the overall Rag and Flag shield that year, whilst asking myself - do I really feel that much yet?

Last year, it was going through PV after PV.
It was organising dry runs and crossing fingers that everything would turn out well.
It was washing cans and screaming at the ants/cigarette butts/maggots.
It was being area IC for the first time.
It was calling freshmen and encouraging them to come, with the hope that they'd feel a little of what I felt.
It was during Rag day when leading the freshmen at SRC, looking at the float as if it were the only one on the track.
It was screaming wildly when results were announced - everyone jumping up at the exact same moment, everyone hugging each other, everyone with tears in their eyes, everyone speechless nevertheless.

This year, it is seeing the freshmen from last year being in my former position, trying to create in the current freshmen what THEY experienced.
It is having all these memories - remembering the tears, the screams, the laughter, the unforgettable quotes (Su Leen, guo lai kan wo de niao), the sleepless nights, the sweat....

Registration is starting in approximately 2.5 hours time. From then on, it's no turning back, no braking, no more repeating. I admit I am scared, I am stressed. But something inside tells me that we can do it. We are going to watch  the orientation and Rag video, know that it was a job WELL DONE.

Come 7th August 2004, EHOC 2004/05 will come together, celebrating what we have done for the past 4 months. Rag, Flag and Programme with stand together, knowing that all of us have done our part in making the whole thing work, passing the torch of memories to this cohort of freshmen, creating another set of memories within ourselves.

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Am sick-ish now. Must be a bug I caught from Justin. Aching all over. It's like last week all over. Just that this time I feel it'd be worse.

But it feels good to know that someone has offered to cook udon noodles in cabbage+ikan bilis soup for me tonight :)

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I suppose it's now proven true that when you start feeling inadequate, people pick that up instantly and make it known to you that you ARE inadequate.

Gotta. Buck. Up.

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If possible, can you guys pray for them? One of them is a friend's Dad - pray for the family as well as they are going through this trying period.

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I now know what pain Vicki had to go through for the past academic year. Editing 5 articles x 4 desks is no easy feat. Editing 5 most painful articles x 4 desks makes me just want to bawl and howl.

If I had my way, at least one article from Transmedia and 3 articles from Outspoken will be booted out. Maybe I'd have my way after all........

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Y'know, it's funny when you search high and low for something and when you are just giving up hope on it, it just appears?

I lost my diamond pendant+necklace and have been frantically searching through Justin's and my room. Was just giving up hope - resigning to the fact that I was this unfilial daughter who deserved to be tied up and tortured.

And so today, I was all dressed up in my 'work clothes' as I like to call them (the stuff I used to wear for teaching) for the MOE seminar this morning. At the bus stop, I was absent mindedly reaching into my bag for my handphone to check the time. Instead, I felt something thin and fished it out - it was my necklace!!!! WHOOPEEEEEE!

Who else to thank but God? I was praying fervently telling Him to just lead me to it. And to think I was nearly going to use a different bag this morning. *phew*


On another note: When is my sore throat ever going to end? It's hurting like mad and it was worse yesterday as it was freaking cold here. Caught a chill and was aching all over with a heavy aching head. Didn't help that Justin offered me a small wafer biscuit and it literally scratched my throat. Gag. To avoid any mishaps, I've eaten a bowl of Campbell's soup. And I open Justin's fridge to see a big cup of yoghurt. Greedy me opens it up and shoves a spoonful into my mouth. And THAT hurt. Explain, how could yoghurt hurt?

Never mind. The weekend's approaching. :)

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ARTS SURVIVAL GUIDE

Whoever wrote this article has probably never stayed in a single NUS hall and wrote this article purely based on what he heard from people who did not live in hall either. "condensed impressions". ha!

So when aspiring freshmen read this article, they'd probably get an even more 'condensed impression' that:
- PRCs are dirty and they will haunt your hall life if you choose KE7.
- RH is un'happening' but it's ok cos if the hall is 'happening' you won't get to be close to people.
- 'smokers and people with outlandish fashion sense' are too 'happening' for KR and they only accept people who are '1)Being super good looking 2) Being an excellent sportsman or 3)Just being a superb person with great personality'.How descriptive. What if I am a super good looking sportswoman who everyone loves but I smoke?
- 'late night closed door sessions' at Kuok and Extension A? ooooh sounds fun.
- And we at Eusoff are 'happening' sportspeople with an active sex life?


Just ranting. Another work day ahead.

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Talked to my mom tonight and I realised how much I missed home. Everytime I read Jan's emails, Siew Yee/Keon's blogs, receive the random SMSes from Jean and Ling, talk to Meng and others on MSN - I just want to go home so so so so much!

Then again, I also realise a pattern - every single time I am stressed out, the first thought that comes is that I want to go home. Reasoned this with myself and it's really the lil' me inside who is dying to hide from everything.

Argh. Must. Not. Think. This. Way.

Been spending a lot of time letting a lot of things go through my mind and trying to make them make sense. So far, I think they do but I need to put in extra effort. Trying to talk less cos I think I am increasingly sounding stupid.

Gah. And it doesn't help that I've lost (or misplaced) something really really important.

Thank God for Jan whom I'll be seeing in about 2 weeks time and my family in 3 weeks time. Or else my head will just about burst.

And I brought it all upon myself. Grar.

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