- Sex sells. The most popular female singers these days have to sell themselves as sex objects to be able to sell their music. I hardly see any music video that does not portray a woman, with half her boobs and half her butt exposed, dancing sexily to a man. I am utterly disgusted.
- Ernie can speak a smattering of Cantonese and we have to be careful of what we say around him, finally.
- I am supposed to be heavier when I am back home. Supposedly, one is lighter as one nears the equator (got this little nugget of information from Justin Kho).
- it is possible to feel completely contented lying on the couch watching TV for the entire day.
- Hong Kong TVB serials have proved to be addictive once again.
- I still do not have a sense of direction.


I hate it when....
- I know this is the last night I'd be at home until December.
- my mom cooks every single dish that I just briefly mentioned.
- my parents wake me up to bring me for breakfast at the stalls that they know that i like, despite it being a 20 minutes drive away.
- my dad counts the months before i come back again.
- my sister, well, she is my sister. haha.
- ernie stops me from packing my shoes.
- i know that 'Da Jie will go back to Singapore' is an effective yet cruel verbal threat to that kid.

Boo. it's only Singapore and i am like this. and to think i was thinking of going for exchange and missing CNY back home.

::::

Presenting my car-crazed brother, who will undoubtably ace any 'name this car' quiz:



Disclaimer:
1. He wanted me to take this picture of him.
2. He was not under any threat. HE decided that this was a camera-happy smile.

::::

This is my last weekend at home. Had a pretty 'regular' Sunday today, like what I used to do before I left for uni. Started out yesterday with worship practice (met Ms. Tham and she asked me to do backup for her this weekend) and attended 1st and 2nd service today to do backup.

In between, I stopped by K.I.D.S. Church (my church's Sunday School) to visit some of the kids whom I've known for so long. 2 of my students from Min Sin (where I was a relief teacher) attends this Sunday School and when they saw me, the familiar call " Fu Lao Shi!" (Ms. Poh) felt good, haha. The children whom I've seen since they were mere toddlers were now in primary school while the rest were growing taller and taller. It's freaky.

Anyway, THIS is the real reason why I love home so much...



And for those who have not seen my new haircut...



Bad hair day yea....

::::

Right...the supposed enigma of my previous post. I scored a string of Bs for my exams. Think a mixture of Bs and B-s and B+s. It wouldn't had been so bad if it didn't affect my overall CAP so badly. I know that it's the 'not-too-bad' kinda results but as I told mom last night - it's not up to my expectations.

So I was really quite in the dumps. Silly me asked Justin to SMS me the results when I was watching Troy with Alvin (The movie wasn't THAT great if you ask me, though) and I was hoping to myself that it was a joke. Went home and checked and yup it was true. Anyway as always, I have great friends and family members around me:

Siew Yee: Aiya grades aren't everything in uni life. As long as you know that you have done your best and you know that God honours hard work.

Boon, Xiaoxuan and Sihui: Quite good what!!! Won't affect your scholarship right?

Dad: What is the big deal?

Mom: Aiya no Cs is good enough lar!

Sze feels so loved :)

I am feeling better. In fact, I was already feeling better by last night after visiting Peter and Angie, together with Siew Yee. Just that I have made the decision NOT to apply for exchange after all, despite the sponsorship given by MOE. Reason? I want to use the 2 semesters I have to pull up my grades. Not that I really want to let these numbers govern my life so but I was giving the exchange programme very serious thought and yup, I admit, it scares me. If I am getting these grades here how would I cope with work in a foreign uni? What if I run out of money (that being the mega issue here)?

I WILL go abroad one day. Just not yet.

::::

No more plans for exchange. What Sze-Lyn needs to do is to hibernate for the next 2 semesters to get back the 2nd lower that she worked her ass off for, and lost it for unknown reasons.

::::

Beyonce gyrating her hips....



or some unidentified skinny Armani model who has no hips?



Was watching this programme on Channel [V] - Fashion Rocks - some fashion show cum live performances thingy aided by the Prince's Trust. The first act was Beyonce along with Armani models. They were all on stage at the same time. I think there was an subconscious message sent out to all women watching - Beyonce or skinny model?

Beyonce makes size 12 people like me feel better (I don't know whether she'd be a size 12 though haha).

And I've just revealed my dress size on the WWW. Keep that in mind for Christmas and my birthday yea? :)

::::

5/13/2004 3:17:38 PM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: HEY!
5/13/2004 3:17:38 PM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: i got ...
5/13/2004 3:17:38 PM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: a letter here...
5/13/2004 3:17:39 PM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: for you from MOE.
5/13/2004 3:17:42 PM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: !!!!
5/13/2004 3:17:54 PM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: :D:D:D:D:D
5/13/2004 3:18:00 PM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: feel excited for u!!!!!!!!!!!
5/14/2004 12:19:03 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: there?
5/14/2004 12:19:07 AM :: sze :: ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* yup
5/14/2004 12:19:16 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: hey ugot my msg?
5/14/2004 12:19:20 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: got letter for u from moe.
5/14/2004 12:19:22 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: kekekek
5/14/2004 12:19:58 AM :: sze :: ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* serious?
5/14/2004 12:19:59 AM :: sze :: ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* argh
5/14/2004 12:20:01 AM :: sze :: ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* can help me open?
5/14/2004 12:20:06 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: u wan me open?
5/14/2004 12:20:14 AM :: sze :: ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* yeah
5/14/2004 12:20:17 AM :: sze :: ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* quite impt
5/14/2004 12:20:18 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: ok.
5/14/2004 12:20:25 AM :: sze :: ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* it's either yes or no...*grips self*
5/14/2004 12:20:42 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: yes!!
5/14/2004 12:20:43 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: HAHAHA
5/14/2004 12:20:45 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: i tot so!!
5/14/2004 12:20:48 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: congrats!
5/14/2004 12:20:51 AM :: sze :: ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* huh?
5/14/2004 12:20:52 AM :: sze :: ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* i got it?
5/14/2004 12:20:55 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: yea
5/14/2004 12:20:59 AM :: sze :: ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* WOOOOHOO!!!!!!
5/14/2004 12:21:00 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: congratulations
5/14/2004 12:21:02 AM :: sze :: ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* thanks...
5/14/2004 12:21:03 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: im pleased to inform u
5/14/2004 12:21:05 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: bla bla bla
5/14/2004 12:21:10 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: hahah i tot se when i felt the envelope
5/14/2004 12:21:12 AM ...dailymuse--> *a girl called susie....* :: sze :: :)





WOO HOO!!!!



Now, to start making plans for exchange?

::::

It's not every day that we see a Malaysian designer in the news! Apart from Zang Toi and Jimmy Choo, that is. Which, is getting a tad boring. Haha.

On the other hand, anyone interested in funky ice cube trays?

::::

if I get the MOE scholarship, I'd be able to apply for exchange by August and if approved, I will leave by December!

Was thinking of applying for Edinburgh if I do but with my results.....*hrmmmph*

Will think more about it after I know of the scholarship outcome.

*hopeful*

::::

Jia-yi, was it your request to create a homepage for AMC that was turned down?
Well, look what I found!

The most user friendly one so far, I must admit.

::::

I was on my laptop this afternoon when Ernie pushed his way through our study area "Excuse me...." and managed to push me off the chair and plopped himself right in front of the computer. Needless to say, I became really angry and scolded him for being rude and I told him firmly that he would need to ask my permission to use my laptop the next time and all that. He hit me quite a few times but at the same time I knew that he knew what I was talking about.

So when he came back from tuition this evening, he came to me and told me that he wanted to use the laptop. Albeit in broken speech, I understood so I switched it on for him.

He was surfing his usual car websites happily when I noticed 2 small bruises on his wrist. The kind that are small but still hurts a lot. He refused to let me touch the wound, telling me that I was "all wrong" (his lingo, meaning that I was not allowed to ask about it).After much probing, he answered in broken phrases that he got the injuries at school, that it was caused by a pencil (he even told me that it was a Pilot pencil - trust my observant kid brother for details) and told me a classmate's name. My mother is going to ask him more now that he is going to bed.

It hurts. He may be big for his age but he is literally defenceless. He never retaliates when he is bullied. That was the reason why we decided to place him in a national type school instead of a chinese school where he'd be more likely to be taunted and bullied. According to his teacher, he is now refusing to attend the Moral Education classes as the Indian boys there are bullying him - he told his teacher that he wanted to attend Jawi class with the rest of the children.

At the same time, he is completely aware that he is different from the 'average' special kids. He is still refusing to join the special class and when he returned for his therapy sessions at Ray of Hope 2 days ago, he called the rest of the special kids "children" and that he didn't want to play with them.

My brother - the in between. I just pray and hope that he will acquire the social skills that he needs and that he can be independant soon. It hurts to see him this way.

::::

Maybe it's the hour or maybe the truth is right at my face.

I am s-c-a-r-e-d.

EHOC intensive is barely 4 weeks away and here I am, preparing the schedule and panicking.

I can't be lacking rest as I am having it to the max at home. It's the reality hitting me hard - so many other people having so many other commitments, so many extra responsibilities that the programme team has to shoulder - so alone that I feel.

This'd better be a passing feeling.

::::

it is only she who could describe our trip so aptly.

Miss those 3 days already!

::::

We had a great time in Penang! Ate (Boon fell in love with Penang Char Kuey Tiau!) and ate and ate! It was a really good outing - doing all the touristy things like visiting all those temple thingies and taking pictures of everything (I clocked 112 on my lil digicam - and that's not counting Sihui's and Xiaoxuan's). However, we spent the last night just chilling out in the hotel room with pizza and odd TV programmes and a couple of bottles :) Also attempted to get a tan.

In short....we luRRRve.....(I can't believe that I am saying this wahahahhaha)

And here are a few pics....


At our hotel room's balcony.


Remnants of Gurney Drive after we ravished it.


The babes.


Souvenirs - RM0.99 ankle socks.

::::

We haven't taken a picture together for so long.

Despite all differences, these girls ROCK!

::::

#1 Kinta City and Ipoh Parade seem to be the only shopping centres in the entire Perak state. Therefore,they are crowded and must be avoided during weekends.

#2 You find yourself cursing and swearing away at errant drivers who honk when the traffic lights are still red, who drive at monster-like speed on the unusually jam-packed Ipoh roads and other bad drivers.

#3 The aforesaid drivers usually turn out to be irresponsible 'parkers', usually parking their vehicle in any convenient place for THEMSELVES. Read: Doubleparking usually applies here.

#4 You find yourself hating the long weekends as Ipoh loses its peace and tranquility. All these are replaced by bad drivers, loud and rude window shoppers, obnoxious young teenagers from all over Perak and howling kids.

#5 It is chic to wear loadsa makeup, a silk neckscarf held together with a shiny brooch, shiny tight blouse with skin tight stone-washed jeans with a hugebelt to a village coffeeshop. (Ok, me bad.Should not criticise that department. I should not judge Ipoh's lack of fashion consciousness)

#6 People stare at you when you walk by in a cotton tube with capris at supposedly the most 'hip' hangout place of Ipoh.

#7 The food is good. Really. *drool*

#8 You hear comments "Wah your daughter so big already-ah" in Cantonese wherever you go.

#9 Nothing has changed since you last came back. The constructions are never ending and the roads remain full of potholes.

#10 You find that you are home only for HOME.


All these explain why I'd much rather stay at home during the holidays, curling up with a good book and lazing around flipping Astro channels. Nothing but my good good old friends can take me away from that now.

::::

I am now seated in between 2 kids who are barely in Primary 4. Surrounding me are loud shrill shrieks and virtual bombing and shootings and what-nots.

Help. I am actually desperate enough to drive myself to a cybercafe.

This is entirely not my fault. Broadband my foot indeed - Streamyx hasn't been working since Friday night (I think) - it keeps telling me that I am connected at 100mps (or something like that) but NOOOOOOOO - I can't surf, ICQ/MSN doesn't connect - argh. And I have emails to check and erm, blogs to read.

And yea, as I was saying, here I am at VirtualNet, a cybercafe which is a 5 minutes drive from home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Justin left for Singapore yesterday. I think he had a good 2 days here in Ipoh. Of course, we ate a fair bit (gosh, we ARE gluttons aren't we?) but it was fun sharing a fruit ice kacang at Greentown. And eating chicken wings at the hawker centre opposite. And sharing a slice of chocolate cheesecake and moist chocolate cake coupled with Movenpick's caramel ice-cream at Maria's earlier that evening.

Right. We need to find out other forms of activity. Haha.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Met up with Puy Jean and Ling last night. After every meeting with them, I tend to be left slightly confused. Am I really naive and airy-fairy? Well, in comparison, I suppose I AM.

Last night we were talking about school etc when Puy Jean brought up her thought that it was quite pointless to spend so much money and energy on studying/university when everyone would eventually end up in the same place - whereas money would be the most important thing. I felt all queasey inside when I heard it, especially when Ling nodded in agreement.

I really couldn't agree with that. They viewed a college education merely as a stepping stone to obtain a piece of paper to get a job. Not just a job, but a high-paying job. For me, I love my classes, I love learning and if I could (read: have the financial means to) I would study more in other branches that I was interested in. I was telling them how I'd planned to maybe leave Singapore after my 3 year bond to find out what it would be like to be at other countries.

I think I sounded a little naive. Especially when I said that I really do like my classes and that I was thinking of stuff like post-grad etc.

Then again, as I was talking to my dad about this last night, I came to a realisation that our different opinions could be a result of our different background. I am blessed as my family is close-knit and I was brought up never having to worry about our financial situation. My friends are putting themselves through uni with literally NO help from home at all. In fact, now that they are on industrial attachment, with the little that they are earning, they are expected to give more than half of it to their parents who feel that they SHOULD, since they are living on home's expenses.

I left wondering : should I be more pragmatic?

As much as I love shopping (as they do) I could never bring myself to shop as much as they do, even if it were my own hard-earned cash. As much I would like to have a lavish lifestyle, I am very very much contented with what I have. As much as I realise that many times, a degree is merely viewed as a stepping stone to a high-flying career, the things I've learnt is showing me that it is more than that. I still have dreams left unfulfilled. So be it when people claim that I am impractical etc. I know there is a way.

I think I've come to a conclusion: Nah!

::::