Went for IHG swimming today.......I don't know whether it's just me.....the Eusoff spirit seems to be back some how....after DP.......I think it's just me....:)
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Talking to Yin now. I love this feeling of just reminiscing the past with people like Yin and Joanne and Sharon. Yin and I haven't exactly been keeping in touch but this is good. We are just catching up on each other's lives..talking about how we all have moved on and all that.

It's an inevitable phase in life....we have both come to terms with that :)

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Gotta start studying. Keyword being? START.

*sigh* I really am the president of Procrastinators United. Then again, a procrastinator wouldn't gather enough will power to set up a club of this sort. Then again, I am crapping. Which qualifies me as a member of Balderdashers Anonymous.

Brings me back to the time when my favourite word was 'balderdash'. Siew Ping and I used it a lot. Or did we use 'puerile' a lot after we learnt it in Aunty Shirley's class? Used it a lot on Lee Kian Chong during Mr. Hin's Add Math class.

Miss secondary school days all of a sudden. Miss those days in Form 3 when Gaik and I and a few others would walk 3 times a week to LUI for tuition. Miss Form 4 days as I was training for debate and attending all those social events......crowned Social Queen with Wei Chien..we were just talking about it that day....:) Miss Form 5 days when Chung Ye used to pick me up for Physics and Math tuition on Saturdays........having 2 hour lunches with Sharon before Add Math.........rushing essays for Aunty Shirley......doing dinner night......

Miss Form 6 for the times we had in Interact......wandering around school during Literature ( read: free ) lessons.....joking around with Peter Su or Mr. Yip.......playing cards or girl-talk with Ling and co.......hearing Yau Har's stories.......

Why am I so reminiscient all of a sudden? *Bop meself on head*

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DP's over. I had a great time during the bump-in period at UCC with the other dancers.....kinda miss DP now.......Will join again next year !

Then again, it all depends on whether I can make it back the next year.....from the look of things...it is most likely that I WON'T make it back.....

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YOU EAT PEOPLE!!!


what's YOUR deepest secret?
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You are a true nature girl!


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-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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I have been back for nearly a week now and I don't think I've actually have had much time to THINK. Been doing nothing but dance and rush from class to class every day. Piecings been going fine. Caught a fever last night, had another sort of fever attack again during the afternoon and I really hope that I won't get another one tonight. Can't afford to.

Can't think. Really can't think.

Will go back to my morphemes and what-nots....

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You will sink in a mire. You like to think you're
normal, but deep down you really just want to
strip off your clothes and roll around in
chicken fat.


What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
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Grrr....I just typed a whole lot of stuff and don't know what I pressed on the keyboard but everything was wiped out !!!

Anywya...I was saying this.....

I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO SINGAPORE TOMORROW.

I do not want to go back to face the cold people. I do not want to face my financial problems and to worry about finding a job. I do not want to go back and know that I will never actually have enough time to finish studying.

I do not want to leave home where my comfort zone is. I do not want to leave my parents who are working so hard. I do not want to leave my friends with whom I can totally be myself and where help is just a phonecall away. I do not want to leave Ernie whose behaviour is getting increasingly worrying.

God said not to worry about tomorrow as He will provide. Do I have so little faith? Where is the Szelyn that I knew before?

The only times that I don't think about my problems is when I am dancing....and also when I am with Justin, who is my source of happiness in Singapore.

Last night was a total blast. I missed spending time so so so much with the rest of them. Jenson was quiet as usual.....SiewYee and Jan and I had our normal gossipy girly session.....Mun Yip all sprawled out on the couch.....Joeboy and Pang in their witty selves....."hui song lei song?"...I missed hearing that so much.....haha........Teck Joe mischievous as ever.......Peter...the usual......Alvin..leaving early as usuall....grr....Nicky with his new target and all that......:)

Today's 5Sc3 gathering was....predictable. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard Cynthia and Yee Sing in this conversation :

"Have you studied {some engineering thingy} yet?" " No...have you? " "Yeah...it's so hard..." "Oh but you have done { some engineering thingy} right?"

And it goes on.

I was praising God when Joanne and Yuan turned up !

Ernie just got a scolding from me. He probably won't remember it. I am very worried about his behaviour.

I don't want to go back to Singapore.

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"Okay, when you see the juice in the small little cup later, remember the blood of Jesus and how He died for us..."

I turned my head as I heard Peter whispering these words to Darryl who was listening intently. Peter, Angie, David, Darryl and Hannah are back in Ipoh. Looking at their family, it always reminds me again of my aspirations to have a family just like theirs. Peter was sitting with David and Darryl while Angie was soothing Hannah during service today. Peter and Angie are forever loving and young and energetic despite having 2 ( and now 3 ) young kids. Theirs is the family I really want to have. Will I?

They are having the annual gathering today at Jenson's place.....feel glad...miss spending time with them.....

Saw Richard today....gosh I haven't seen him for so long.....it was only AFTER I spoke to him...in fact he came up to me first....I barely recognised him....he's grown so thin .... that I realised that it was THE Richard that I was so ga-ga about back then. Quite funny to think back to those times....it was nice though....hehe....

I am going back on Tuesday. I really don't want to go back. But today's sermon on forgiveness really struck a chord within me. I haven't had a message which spoke so clearly to me for so long. I prayed for myself to be able to forgive Rebekah and a few others.....Literally felt a little, if not a lot lighter as I left the sanctuary today. I realised how I have bound myself as I held grudges against them and let what they did and said affect me. God forgave me for everything I did. If God could why couldn't I do the same? I realised how wrong I was......

But I still get the boxed-in feeling as I think of going back to hall. This time I'll be going back as a partially new person...I hope....

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